TikTok Told Me I'm Doing It Wrong

A little bit on motherhood, information overload, and doing nothing.

Gentle, attachment, authoritarian, authoritative. Words that make my head spin. Sixteen months into motherhood, and I haven’t really found (or even really cared to find, if I’m being honest) my parenting philosophy.

What’s the style called that encompasses raising kind, compassionate children who are curious, hardworking, have a great sense of humor, and will never want to leave my home? That seems to resonate with me.

There are many things about motherhood that have surprised me. The embarrassing lengths I will go to prevent my daughter from falling asleep in the car on the way home from the grocery store? A bit alarming. The fact that babies are born without kneecaps? Bewildering. But the double-edged sword of self-conscious parenting may have shocked me the most.

Sure, on one hand, it means that I care—which, in turn, means I’m already being a good mother. But on the other, the overwhelming access to information (I’m looking at you, TikTok) can be confusing and even crippling at times. So, my solution? Do absolutely nothing. Lazy parents, unite!

No, I won’t be reading that Montessori-style teaching book you recommended. And I won’t be listening to the hot new audiobook that swears it has the secret to understanding the mind of a child. And it’s not because they’re wrong—I know they help so many—but because I’m choosing to focus my attention on trusting my instincts more and listening to the little voice inside of me instead. How can I hear her over all that noise? I’m simply choosing to believe that if anyone has the answers, it’s definitely me— obviously.

And if not, there’s always Brené Brown.

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